I call mistake number 1 the “But I Love You So Much.”
After breaking up, many people will try to amend their relationship by repeatedly stating their love:
“We can’t break up… I love you!”
“If you only knew how much I love you, you wouldn’t leave me.”
“I love you. If you leave me, I’ll have nothing left.”
Perhaps due to society’s influence, we usually have a “love conquers all” belief; and we utilize that idea when trying and save our relationship.
The unfortunate fact is that, frequently, love alone won’t cut it. Your love for your ex alone won’t bring him or her back.
To give your relationship a chance, your ex needs to love you too.
Also, that love must involve excitement, attraction, and desire.
However, such feelings are impossible to impose on the other. They must be introduced indirectly, with simple and subtle techniques.
And, surely, repeating how much you love them isn’t one of these techniques.
We now arrive to mistake number 2, which I call
“Looking For Sympathy And Pity.”
After breaking up, when you met your ex for the first time, did you show up sad or depressed?
Trying to get back together with your ex without a well-thought-out plan to do so, presenting yourself as sad and depressed due to the end of the relationship, is the worst thing you can possibly do!
People want to be in relationships with optimistic, fun, and motivated people.
That kind of depressed attitude will shrink your ex’s attraction even further.
I’ll teach you further ahead what to do to fix that mistake. However, it’s for the best if you don’t fall for it in the first place.
Mistake number 3 when trying to recover your ex is what I call “Manipulation.”
Using children, money, sex, or anything else to force your ex back into a relationship with you is not only deplorable, it will also make them lose respect for you.
You would never be with someone you didn’t respect, and neither would they. So, avoid this kind of strategy at all costs.
The 4th mistake in trying to get your ex back is what I call “Arguing.”
The other day, I read a critic bashing the new iPad.
If you knew me personally, you would know that I love my iPad, and I can’t wait to buy the new version.
It is super practical, helps me a lot when dealing with my patients, and helps me with my daily routine, among other very important functions of my day-to-day activities.
At that moment, the truth is that I was reading the review hoping that it would convince me to buy the new iPad already.
When I realized the reviewer was only focusing on the negative aspects of the new iPad, I could only hold these thoughts in my mind:
“I don’t think this will be a problem,” “There should be a solution for this,” or even…
“This guy has no idea what he’s talking about!”
Basically, I was mentally arguing with the critic.
This is the point…
When you use arguments to convince someone of something they don’t agree with, their natural reaction will be to think of counterarguments – therefore becoming even surer of their initial decision.
So, when you’re trying to convince your ex that splitting up isn’t a good idea, you’ll paradoxically make them more sure that breaking up is what they really want.
So, don’t use arguments to win back your ex. They will backfire.
Further along in the video, I’ll show you the real, effective techniques to recover your relationship.
Mistake number 5 is “Saying You Have Changed.”
Habits and personalities remain relatively stable during people’s lifetimes.
Nobody expects someone to suddenly develop a completely new personality.
This simply doesn’t happen.
We expect a person’s behavior in the future to remain consistent with their behavior in the past.
Profound personality changes only happen in the movies, and your ex knows that.
Telling your ex that you’ve changed and that “things will be different now” is the same as telling them to believe something they can easily see as a lie.
The truth is, you haven’t changed… What you’re telling them is that you will try to act differently in the future.
You can honestly be committed to changing your behavior in the future, but that doesn’t mean you’re a different person right now.
This is an important distinction your ex will make as soon as the words fly out of your mouth.
Much more effective than saying that you’ve changed is to actually show a changed behavior. Now THAT is a valid technique.
Mistake number 6 is what I like to call
There is a certain dose of insult in a breakup. The underlying message is something like, “You’re not good enough for me. I can do better.”
It’s understandable that your ego might not react well to such a message.
You might be thinking, “My ex hurt me, and I shouldn’t be the one trying to fix anything…”
The problem is that your relationship might have been valuable, healthy, and mutually beneficial.
Such unreasonable pride can really hurt your chances of taking the right actions to recover it.
Pride gets involved because people assume they have to beg, crawl, and humiliate themselves to get their exes back.
However, that is not the case!
You shouldn’t do any of those things. Such actions don’t help create attraction, which is the prime element for relationship recovery.
So, don’t let pride get in the way. I’ll soon show you the best techniques to recover your relationship.
You can recover attraction without ever having to beg.
But now, let’s talk about the 7th and last mistake when trying to recover your ex:
Here’s a frequently-used saying about breakups:
“If you love your ex, set them free. If they don’t come back, they were never yours in the first place.”
It’s comforting to think that such “life rules” are in place, but let’s be reasonable…
The fact is that your present situation is a result of cause and effect, as will be your future.
If you really value your relationship, and you want it back, then you have to do something to make it happen.
If you decide to wait and see if your ex changes his or her mind, then you’re being passive… and that’s not going to help you.
In order for your ex to change his or her mind, he or she would have to suddenly rethink all the reasons they had for breaking up with you in the first place.
And in most cases, that simply won’t happen.
A more proactive approach has a much higher chance of success.
More accurately, you need to make yourself so attractive to him or her that those reasons for breaking up will become completely irrelevant.
This process involves applying a series of simple and subtle techniques specially crafted to recreate attraction in your ex’s mind.
It involves having the right action plan to show your ex that you really have changed and that you’re an attractive and desirable person.
After all, you won’t achieve different results if you keep doing the same thing.
You made a very wise decision by watching this presentation.
From this moment on, you will be fully prepared to prevent making the situation with your ex any worse.